Well lately I heard lot of negative comments for me. Thanks, I will try to change, to be a better person :)
I accept those negative comments, but please don't over judge me after you say something about me. Like "pantes yah lo ga punya pacar udah dua tahun ini, soalnya ngomong lo nyelekit dan nyakitin hati." That's sensitive for me. I mean, I know for this two years I still single and keep single. But you don't really have no idea for what I've been through. I want to find and have a boyfriend too, sure I'd love to. Condition isn't give me an excuse.
From 2011 until now --- 2013, I've tried to feel that "I'm good enough for the guy that I like." The scars, on the other hand, is still on my mind. People said, moving on is about forgiving yourself. And how can I move when I still blaming my self everyday for what happened on that day? Really. I'm being sick to hear this kind of sentence "pantesan lo ga punya pacar selama dua tahun! Abisnya lo bla-bla-bla......" or "makanya jangan bla-bla-bla, tuh liat cowok jadi males sama lo."
It's not about those negative comments, no. It's about the judgement. I'm really sick of those judgement. I'm still single because I can't forgive my self & keep blaming my self for what was happened & judge my self not good enough, weird, ugly, fat...... I still blaming my self. I feel this pain, really. Pain about not forgiving my self and the impacts for my circle. Yes, I have no confidence right now. And I don't know when I can heal this pain completely. For God sake, I've tried to heal this.....
I accept those negative comments, but please don't over judge me after you say something about me. Like "pantes yah lo ga punya pacar udah dua tahun ini, soalnya ngomong lo nyelekit dan nyakitin hati." That's sensitive for me. I mean, I know for this two years I still single and keep single. But you don't really have no idea for what I've been through. I want to find and have a boyfriend too, sure I'd love to. Condition isn't give me an excuse.
From 2011 until now --- 2013, I've tried to feel that "I'm good enough for the guy that I like." The scars, on the other hand, is still on my mind. People said, moving on is about forgiving yourself. And how can I move when I still blaming my self everyday for what happened on that day? Really. I'm being sick to hear this kind of sentence "pantesan lo ga punya pacar selama dua tahun! Abisnya lo bla-bla-bla......" or "makanya jangan bla-bla-bla, tuh liat cowok jadi males sama lo."
It's not about those negative comments, no. It's about the judgement. I'm really sick of those judgement. I'm still single because I can't forgive my self & keep blaming my self for what was happened & judge my self not good enough, weird, ugly, fat...... I still blaming my self. I feel this pain, really. Pain about not forgiving my self and the impacts for my circle. Yes, I have no confidence right now. And I don't know when I can heal this pain completely. For God sake, I've tried to heal this.....
